I see the moving trucks being unloaded, the flurry of activity on Post.

I’ve got the beginning-of-the-year socials and sign-ups on my calendar, and can’t wait to meet this year’s group of spouses.

(For those who have no idea what I am talking about, my counseling practice is located near the Army War College and military families are just arriving.)

I know you are in the midst of figuring out what your battle rhythm is going to be for the year.
I have been writing blog posts and putting content on my social media that directly relates to military spouses lately so I could have some resources at the ready for you.

I really want to drive home the importance of taking time to address your mental health, and getting started now before the year gets underway.

Today I want to extend a specific welcome, tell you why I care about you, re-cap the resources I have made available to you, and answer some questions I am guessing you may have.

So….

WELCOME!

I am a military spouse and my husband is currently on faculty at the War College. I have been in this area for 8 years. (I know, unheard of!) We, like so many other people, have fallen in love with this town and plan to stay put here.

We are an Air Force family, so we are slightly displaced in this Army environment.

The kids and I moved here a year before my husband, because we were stationed overseas when he received a remote assignment. We couldn’t stay overseas without him, and had to pick someplace stateside to weather the year.

I did not take this news well.

For me, that assignment was the earthquake that caused my own personal volcano to erupt. Stuff I had been holding in came spewing out with a vengeance.

At first I thought the “lava” was all my husband’s and the military’s doings.

It wasn’t.

It was stuff that had been simmering in me since before I even got married.

However, I can see how life in military culture kept me busy enough that I didn’t take time to notice it and deal with it.

I internalized an expectation to be resilient that made me feel ashamed that I had some struggles.

I was too embarrassed to ask for help, so I fooled myself into thinking I didn’t need help.

Counseling helped me see what I was really dealing with, and shed the shame.

It was a game-changer for me and equipped me with that resilience I had been pretending to have.

Once I got to the other end of healing, I got to wondering how many other military spouses were carrying around stuff they were pretending not to carry? Stuff they didn’t have time to unpack?

I thought about how hard it was to find a counselor, how much I wanted a counselor who understood military culture.

I felt a calling on my life to fill that gap, to help other military spouses shed the burden of their emotional boxes.

That’s why I care.

I get the struggles of this lifestyle.
I get the joys, too.

I get the big picture, the *why* behind “service over self,” but I see ways that “self” needs some attention, too.

With some intentionality, we can bring more balance to military family life.

Your family is who you’ve got once the active duty service member retires, so it is important to invest in family health, which starts with individual health.

We all experience military life differently, of course. I don’t expect that you will be struggling in the exact same way I was. Our volcanoes have different stuff in them.

When I have shared my story with other spouses, I always get feedback that resonates with the idea that there are struggles, made harder by our perceptions that we are not allowed to admit we are struggling.

You’re allowed to struggle.

You’re allowed to ask for help.

Resources

I will continue writing about topics that pertain to military spouses in the future, but I want to call your attention to posts I have written already with some information that can be helpful to you:

Many of my posts may be helpful in a broader sense. There are a lot more, but here are just a few:

I recently spoke at a conference for spouses of military leaders. Because I like to work smarter, not harder, I used some of that content to create some blog posts. One of the topics I spoke on was how to be a good supporter of someone in a stressful job:

If you are wanting to get into therapy yourself, I am a resource.

I see women and work with issues of anxiety and underlying trauma. I offer Christian counseling for those who want to incorporate God into therapy. I also offer EMDR therapy which is a highly sought-after modality that helps clients process trauma.

I am also willing to be a resource to help you find someone who can help you if that person is not me. I know I am not the best fit for everyone; I don’t take insurance, and I only see women.

I want to see military families living their best lives so I am willing to do my best to point you to someone who can help, even if that’s not me. (but I can’t make any guarantees).

Questions?

When War College spouses call me for therapy, these are the top questions I tend to get. You can find a few more FAQ’s on my website.

What if our paths cross at the War College?

The military community is a small community. I totally get that it could be weird if our paths cross.

You and I will have some conversations about our involvement in various aspects of life here at Carlisle Barracks. If we have an association that feels too close, then I will help you find somebody different who can help you. I am not allowed to tell anybody that you are my client, so you wouldn’t have to worry about that, but there are other considerations that come up when we think about how our paths may cross.

I am pretty transparent about my own story, but knowing each other in “real life” is a whole different level of transparency! If you are in my husband’s seminar, chances are you will be at my house for some kind of event during the year. Or our kids may become friends, and my child could be spending the night at your house at some point or vice versa.

That just might feel too…weird. For you (and honestly, for me, too!)

In my initial phone consultation, we will talk about those things. We may decide that it feels okay for both of us to start a therapeutic relationship. If we go that route, we will check in often on how that is going. If circumstances change and we end up together socially more than we anticipated, I can always help you find a different therapist.

If we are not in small social settings together but we happen to run into each other at some event, or the commissary, I will just pretend I do not know you. If you want to smile and say hi, I will gladly return that friendly gesture, but if I am asked I will say I am not sure how I know you. (In military settings, this is so very believable. This actually happens to me all the time… with non-clients!)

Bottom line: We’ll talk about it, we will try to anticipate whether it’s too weird and make that decision together. If we decide to work together, we will keep talking about it and make changes as we go, if necessary.

Nobody needs to know I am your therapist.

Do you take insurance?

No, I am still working on becoming licensed, so I am not allowed to take insurance. There may be reasons you don’t want to use your insurance, though. I have written about this here. If you want to use your insurance benefits for therapy, it is crucial that you get started looking for a therapist as soon as possible, because many clinicians who take insurance have wait lists.

What is your session fee?

$90 for a 50-minute session. Sometimes people opt to do sessions every other week instead of weekly and this can cut the cost down. There are some factors that could prevent an every-other-week situation from being a good idea for what you need, depending on what is going on with you. EMDR sessions can be done in 90-minute sessions (which are $125). This is a slight savings, but this arrangement can reduce the amount of sessions you need overall (I can’t completely promise that, though, this depends on a lot of individual factors).

This may seem like a high fee, especially if you are used to using your insurance benefits. I get it. It’s actually one of the lower fees in the area - if you look at your insurance statement, the actual fee that therapists charge the insurance companies is generally between $120-$170 (in this area). I am charging a lower fee because I want to keep services accessible to more people, but I do need to pay the bills.

Do you see couples, families, men, teens, or children?

Yes and no. I do have limited space for couples, but those spaces are currently full. I do not see families, men, teens, or children. I have limited my work to adult women because that is the population that I work best with. It feels easy and energizing to me! I have been counseling women unofficially all my life. My master’s degree and subsequent training just augmented my strengths, and that is what I want to bring to the table.

How do I get in touch with you?

You can reach out securely through the contact form on my website, or give me a call at 717-219-4339.

If you suspect that there are things impacting your mental health, don’t put it off until your next duty station.

Take advantage of this year to get some help. I would love to be part of your process!

Jennie Sheffe is a National Certified Counselor ™ who helps women find freedom from anxiety and peace in their chaos. She sees clients virtually in the state of Pennsylvania, or in her Carlisle, PA office. She offers Christian counseling and EMDR Therapy.

Welcome, War College Spouses!