Grounding to Relieve Anxiety
“There is no way that technique actually works,” I thought to myself as I learned about “grounding” in grad school.
I was learning the 5 Senses Grounding Technique. The idea is to get someone in distress to use their 5 senses to bring them back to the present moment. You ask them to name 5 things they can see, 4 things they can feel, 3 things they can hear, 2 things they can smell, and 1 thing they can taste.
Fast forward a few weeks to me getting a frantic, sobbing, hyperventilating call from my daughter home alone dealing with math homework. I gave it a shot, and you know what? It worked! Within minutes, she went from a blubbering mess to a young lady who could form coherent sentences and make a plan to call her aunt who was likely to be helpful with math homework over the phone.
When we are in moments of distress we are usually not tuned into the present.
Our thoughts during times of big emotions turn into future catastrophizing. We anticipate all kinds of terrible future outcomes and react as if they are all happening right now. We become emotionally flooded and the rational part of our brain checks out temporarily.
We are in survival mode.
Bringing ourselves back to the present time reminds us that we are safe. Right here, right now, nothing terrible is happening.
Exercises like the 5 senses grounding technique bring us into ourselves and the moment, but they also help shift our thoughts away from whatever was provoking so much anxiety. Grounding techniques give us something new to focus on.
Once we are grounded, the rational part of our brain comes back online. We can decide to do something calming, like take deep breaths, while we figure out what we can do about our situation.
A word of caution about grounding is warranted. Some people feel activated by being connected to their bodies. If they have experienced trauma, they may have learned to escape the present moment so they could get through it. If you are one of those people, it would be wise for you to explore this with a therapist instead of mess with your current survival strategies because you are reading a blog about grounding.
The goal of grounding is to help you get out of emotional activation so you can use the rational part of your brain to manage whatever might be causing you distress.
If you are someone who experiences emotional distress often, you may want to create a grounding kit. When you are experiencing big emotions, remember the rational part of your brain is not functioning optimally. Having a plan and items to execute that plan is important because you can’t guarantee that it will occur to you that grounding can be helpful. Gather items in a box or basket that might be useful if you need to tap into your senses.
10 things to include in a grounding kit
Anything with a texture that you enjoy. A soft blanket, a smooth stone, a fluffy pillow.
Something you can fidget with. Bubble wrap, fidget toy, rubiks cube, silly putty.
Anything that smells good to you. A bar of lavender soap may smell soothing to you, a scented candle.
Something that you can taste. Peppermints or jolly ranchers could be something you could use to focus on taste. Hard candy is great for this because it lasts for a while.
Create a playlist on your phone of music that you love to hear. Or download an app that has soothing sounds, like ocean waves or a babbling brook. You may want to put a set of earbuds in your grounding kit so you don’t have to hunt for them in your time of need.
A slinky. Slowly moving a slinky (the metal kind that have some weight to them) side to side can be rhythmic and peaceful and help calm you.
A ball that you could throw at a door, play fetch with a dog, involve someone in your house in playing catch.
A list of things to count – count the doorknobs in your house, the number of kitchen cabinets, how many pairs of shoes in your closet, keys on your keyring, window panes. A deck of cards – you can sort them into suits. Anything that keeps you looking around and counting. You can count your inhales and exhales, too, to combine deep breathing with grounding.
A list of questions someone can ask you to orient you to the moment. What’s your name? Including your middle name? What’s your address? Who is the president? What’s your favorite color?
A list of people you could call for support. Include crisis resources on that list. Needing to ground yourself does not necessarily mean you need to call a crisis number, but it’s good to have those numbers handy just in case you are having a big emotion dues to a crisis situation. Here are some to get you started:
National Suicide Prevention Hotline: (800) 273-8255
Cumberland County Crisis Line: (866) 350-HELP (4357)
Crisis Text Line: Text “PA” to 741741
National Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 799-SAFE (7233)
Domestic Violence Hotline for Cumberland County: (800) 852-2102
In addition to things you might put in a grounding kit, you can also do things like:
Walk barefoot on the grass
Hold an ice cube
Put a cold washcloth on your face
Do some stretching
Really concentrate on how your body feels right now. Imagine yourself sinking into your chair and notice how that feels. Stand on your tiptoes and drop your heels, noticing how that feels when your heels make contact with the ground.
You may be thinking that some of these ideas seem silly, but what if they work? If you are someone who feels anxious often, you may want to print these out for a loved one at home to keep. They might notice your early signs of anxiety before you do, and they can spring into action with these tips.
Grounding is an important resource that we use often in counseling. As a counselor, it is my job to help you stay in what we call your “window of tolerance” while we talk about hard things. If you depart from this window of tolerance, you will not be in that rational part of the brain where you can actually process what you are dealing with.
Sometimes clients will come into counseling and want to jump right into all the really hard stuff so they can get it over with. We have to slow the process down so the our clients will be able to stay present with the work or the work may not really be productive.
Before grounding techniques can be very effective, you may need to start noticing when you are not in that present moment. If you pay attention, you might find signs that are not so obvious that can clue you into the fact that you are starting to leave the present moment. Maybe you notice tightness in your stomach, or you realize you are biting your lip. Those subtle signs of anxiety can help you dial into what is going on in your body before your emotions really get away from you. And guess what? Noticing what is going on in your body is another form of grounding, so just by doing that you are helping yourself to stay in your window of tolerance.
If you are recognizing that you are someone who would benefit from grounding, you may benefit from counseling to work on the issues that generate emotional distress for you. Grounding is a great step to managing distress, but it does not get at the deeper issues that keep the distress coming. Letting someone else help you stay in that window of tolerance and pace the work of getting to the roots of the issue can be hugely reassuring. Please reach out if you want that kind of help!
Jennie Sheffe is a National Certified Counselor ™ who helps women find freedom from anxiety and peace in their chaos. She sees clients virtually in the state of Pennsylvania, or in her Carlisle, PA office. She offers Christian counseling and EMDR Therapy.
