Overwhelmed? Do the Next Thing

Elisabeth Elliot is someone who really influenced me as my faith was starting to strengthen. She was a Christian missionary whose husband, along with 4 other men, were killed by the very people God called them to reach. She continued their mission as a widow with a 4-year-old. She was instrumental in bringing the good news of Jesus to that village. She knows a thing or two about trusting God, suffering, and being overwhelmed.

One concept that stayed with me was her repeated encouragement to “do the next thing.”

It turns out that an Old Saxon poem (source unknown) was her inspiration for this guidance.

From an old English parsonage down by the sea, There came in the twilight a message for me;

Its quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven, Hath, as it seems to me, teaching from Heaven.

And on through the hours the quiet words ring, Like a low inspiration: DO THE NEXT THING.

Many a questioning, many a fear, Many a doubt, hath its quieting here.

Moment by moment let down from Heaven, Time, opportunity, guidance, are given.

Fear not tomorrows, Child of the King, Trust them with Jesus. DO THE NEXT THING.

Do it immediately; do it with prayer; Do it reliantly, casting all care;

Do it with reverence, tracing His hand, Who placed it before thee with earnest command,

Stayed on Omnipotence, safe ‘neath His wing, Leave all resultings. DO THE NEXT THING.

Looking to Jesus, ever serener, (Working or suffering) be thy demeanor.

In His dear presence, the rest of His calm, The light of His countenance be thy psalm.

Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing! Then, as He beckons thee, DO THE NEXT THING.

This advice to do the next thing has guided me when I have encountered life circumstances that knocked me down flat. It also comes in handy when I am sitting in a counseling session with a woman mired in the anxiety of her overwhelm.

When life hits you with overwhelming circumstances, sometimes you just do not know where to start. It’s all so incredibly overwhelming, especially when you feel like you are fighting multiple battles at once. Or you are dealing with difficult circumstances against the backdrop of a global pandemic. Maybe there are many different directions you could take to deal with your circumstances (which feels overwhelming). Maybe it seems like there are none.

But there is always at least one “next thing.”

If you are a believer, it might be prayer. That’s a next thing that can guide you and comfort you. Maybe the next thing is something practical, like taking a shower. Maybe you need to have a good cry first. Crying could be the next thing.

I know, those things don’t seem productive, like they don’t count as “things.” However, just acknowledging to yourself that you are doing something can help. It reminds you that you do have some control at a time when you feel powerless. By doing these practical things, you are setting yourself up to be able to function so you can figure out the bigger steps you might need to take. You are building some momentum for whatever comes next.

In times of crisis, self-care becomes critically important, but that is usually the first thing women ignore.

We think we don’t have time for self-care. We continue to flounder in our overwhelm and indecision.

Let me acknowledge that sometimes, yes, we legitimately don’t have time for that. Sometimes the next thing is driving straight to the hospital on an empty stomach with no makeup on and greasy hair. It could be a while before we are able to figure out any next things that meet our practical needs.

Emergencies aside, when we are going through tough times, our next things might be things that we know help us feel better. A balanced meal, hydration, a walk, sleep. Things that are good for us, but we don’t feel like doing. Prioritizing self-care helps us build a foundation so we can do the next thing of functioning in our roles. Moms have next things that involve getting kids to school and activities. It can feel like we are on autopilot doing those errands when we have a lot on our minds, but it’s something we can do while we are working out the bigger problem. We can grasp moments of presence in the ordinary daily life events, which can give us much needed glimmers of rest, playfulness, and perspective.

Once everything is somewhat functional, an important next thing might be canceling whatever we can to carve out time to journal or talk to a trusted friend. Giving ourselves time to consider our options is time well-spent.

Here are some things you may want to think through:

1. What do I actually think about this situation? Just my own opinion, not anyone else’s. Do I need to do some research to figure this out?

2. How is this impacting me?

3. How is this impacting my family?

4. How is this impacting my job?

5. What can I actually do about this? Am I trying to control something that is out of my control?

6. Are there pros and cons to my options?

7. Are there values that could guide my decisions about this?

8. What regrets could be attached to my options?

9. What help do I need?

10. What help is available?

11. What kind of help might others want to give – that I know I don’t need? Do I need to set some boundaries in my head so I am ready to decline that kind of help before it’s offered?

12. What is the timeline of this circumstance? What do I need to get through the long-term of this?

13. How do I give myself what I need?

14. How do I ask others for what I need?

15. What can I be thankful for about this situation?

You might want to check out the blog I wrote about overwhelm for more ways to break down accumulated stressors. Your big situation might be a bunch of smaller stuff combined. Stressors look and feel bigger when they are all jumbled up together.

You may also want to consider any people-pleasing tendencies you might have. If you are trying to solve this problem in a way that makes everyone happy, you may be setting yourself up for a no-win situation. Getting clear on what you think about the problem can really help you tap into your reasons for your next steps. Knowing your reasons can guide your decisions and alleviate some of the decision fatigue you might feel.

For example, if you have someone in your life who is taking up a lot of your valuable time you may identify that you need to prioritize your family in this difficult season. A guiding principle might be that “my family comes first.” This reason makes it easier to not answer the phone if that person calls while you are with your family. You don’t have to sweat out the decision in the moment because you already did that mental work.

Your next thing might be reaching out to a counselor to help you work through your stuff. Sometimes the struggles we go through in life have their roots in past experiences. That extra baggage can also contribute to your problem looking and feeling bigger than it actually is. When you are looking at the mountain of overwhelm, sometimes you need someone to help you sort it all out. Give me a call, and we can make a plan for the practical next things while we look at the deeper issues.

Jennie Sheffe is a National Certified Counselor ™ who helps women find freedom from anxiety and peace in their chaos. She sees clients virtually in the state of Pennsylvania, or in her office in Carlisle, PA. She offers Christian counseling and EMDR Therapy.