This is one of those weeks.

You know the ones where the busier-than-usual events of your life align and you are doing a lot of big things at once.

Actually, I was able to get ahead of some of that and deconflict, but I still have two pretty big, out-of-the-ordinary things going on this week.

And I have yet to decide what the next blog series will be.

So, we are going to revisit the idea of work/life balance this week! I wrote about this before, with a focus on what you can do if your spouse’s work/life balance impacts your life satisfaction.

Today I will offer you practical ideas to give yourself a little margin, and also some grace.

6 Tips to Create Balance in your Schedule

1.Take inventory of times in your year that are predictably busy and make plans to address them.

Busy seasons in our lives can come out of nowhere, but some are predictable. Holiday seasons. If you have kids in school, May is usually only slightly less frenetic than December. So many end-of-year parties and performances!

You will have some predictable busy times if your kids have seasonal activities, or if your job has busy seasons (I’m looking at you accountants in April!)

Get ahead of those seasons and understand your needs during those times.

What is busy about those seasons?
Is there anything you can do beforehand to get ahead of that season? My mom has been working on her Christmas gifts since July - she is going to be ready as soon as Christmas arrives this year!
Is there anything you can just not do/doesn’t feel worth the time you spend during those times? This volleyball season I gave up cooking on volleyball nights, because the chances of everyone being home for dinner are almost nonexistant. Those nights are Y.O.Y.O. nights in our house (You’re On Your Own).
If it really is a recurring thing, take notes right after the event about what you want to change, what you need for the next time it rolls around. I use the trello app to organize Christmas, and in January I inventory things like wrapping paper and gift boxes as I put stuff away. I may add notes like, “My husband said he doesn’t want any more t-shirts” so I can keep that in mind when I am shopping the next year. I usually set up the new year’s trello board in September, and then when I hear someone talking about something they may want for Christmas I can add notes there, so Christmas shopping is easier.
Is there anything you can outsource? Yeah, I haven’t found much I can outsource/want to afford to outsource, but I’ll add it here, because wouldn’t that be nice?
Block off your calendar and make a deal with yourself that you will not make any routine extra appointments during that time frame. What is a “routine extra,” you ask? Keep reading…

2. Consider “routine extra” things that come up regularly in your schedule.

I define extras as anything outside of predictable, recurring events (like work, church, any weekly classes or groups you might be in).

Sometimes there are seasonal ebbs and flows, for example, when I had kids in marching band we knew that almost every Friday night we would be going to a football game, and Saturdays we would be going to band competitions. Friday and Saturday band activities became part of our normal, but just for a few months (things like that make up those “predictably busy seasons in #1).

Try to space out the routine extras.

For me, a routine “extra” is something like a medical appointment, a hair appointment, the veterinarian, getting the tires rotated, having the chimney sweep come to the house.

Set a boundary with yourself about how many routine extra appointments you will schedule per week.
My number is 1. I have found that if I have more than one extra going on in one week, I find myself completely irritated that I have to take up extra time to go to all these appointments. Maybe once I am truly an empty nester I will feel differently about this, but for now, I have enough spontaneous things land in my calendar that limiting myself to one routine extra per week gives me a little margin.
Sometimes I have to be proactive about this, as the people who schedule these appointments will probably assume you want to get in as soon as possible. Just because they offer you an appointment, it doesn’t mean you have to take that one.

Similarly space out the “social extras.”

You will want to consider your personal bandwidth for social activities when you think about social extras. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? If you are an introvert, those social activities will drain you, even if you love spending time with people. You will need some downtime to recharge that social battery. If you are an extrovert, you will feel energized by social events and may want to build more of them into your schedule.

For me, I have found it works for me to divide my social extras into even smaller categories. Unlike routine extras (which are kind of boring), I am willing to have multiple social extras in a week, but I do have limits for myself within those categories.

I have 1-on-1 extras (getting coffee with a friend) - I am comfortable with 1/week
Date extras (time with my husband) - no limit! But I do have to make sure I have enough time to get all my work done.
and Group extras (spending time with 10 or more people; even if one of them is my husband. This does NOT count as a date night for me!) - Ideally this would be once every other week, but I am married to an extrovert, so I am willing to compromise!

3. Identify your needs

I already touched on the different needs introverts and extroverts have. We have different needs in different seasons. We have different kinds of routine extras.

What other needs do you have around your time?

This may be something to journal about.

What makes you feel ready for your day? Your week?

What do you need in order to give yourself those things?
Maybe you need to go to bed earlier, which means you need to stop watching tv earlier.
Maybe you need to plan what you are wearing the next day, or meal prep once a week.
Think about what might be required to give yourself what you need to feel ready, and make a plan to incorporate those things into your routine (One at a time! Don’t tackle them all or you will overwhelm yourself and burn out!)

What makes you feel chaotic? Rushed? Stressed?

This may tell you more about your needs than actually trying to list your needs.

What can you put in place to be able to address those things?
Again, make a plan to build those things into your daily routine, one at a time.
For me, I start feeling a little wonky if I have had too long of a stretch where I am just not at home. I need a little down time to catch up with myself from time to time. I also tend to feel stressed if I don’t take time for devotions in the morning, or if the laundry/dishes/leftovers in the fridge start piling up. I need to be home long enough to do those things.

4. Evaluate your options based on your needs.

I don’t know about you, but I tend to have a knee-jerk reaction of “I couldn’t possibly make a change to the plan.”

I have learned to challenge my immediate reaction and start thinking outside the box for other options, based on my needs.

Get in the habit of asking yourself, “What else might work?”

Maybe nothing will, but if you put your brain to it, you might come up with something different.

Sometimes this looks like asking someone if there are other times available that you could do that thing.
I could get that done, but not until next weekend.
I would love to get together with you, but I’ve got a lot going on that week. What else might work for your schedule?
Sometimes it involves other people helping you out.
I could do that if my daughter could get a ride with someone to her event.
Sure, I can help, but I will only have time to do this part of it. Can you find someone else who can handle that other part of it?
Sometimes we are the one who has to let go of some expectations.
I really wanted to bake and decorate that cake myself, but because of everything else going on in my life that week, I am going to decide to be okay with a store-bought one.
I can make it to my daughter’s game, but I will have to go in my work clothes instead of my t-shirt with her number on it.
Sometimes we need the down-time, and we have to say no to things that we would really like to do. We do not necessarily owe the other person an explanation.
I’m busy that night, so sorry to miss it.
You can get proactive about down-time. When you have a lot going on, you can block off down time in your calendar. Last week I blocked off Friday with big letters that said “FIERCLY PROTECT THIS DAY!” so I could dive into working on the things I needed to do to get ready for this week. I have a day like this every Christmas season, where I watch Christmas movies and catch up on wrapping presents.
This gets tricky if you are an introvert and you are in a very close relationship with an extrovert (trust me!). You both will have different needs for downtime, and these needs are very important. See #6 for a possible workaround for those times when it feels important to function beyond your comfortable capacity.

5. Communicate about your time demands.

**Give your loved ones a heads up if you have a lot going on in one area of your life, especially if they may need to pick up some slack in the other areas that you usually handle.**

If they don’t know that you’ve got some extras piling up, they have no chance of being understanding or flexible with what they may need from you.

They may wrongly assume that you are ignoring them, or that you don’t realize that you haven’t been as available as you usually are.
If they know you are thinking about them and just in a time-limited busy season, it tends to sit better with them.

6. Remember that balance exists on a larger scale.

When we get out of balance in one area, we can plan ahead to restore that balance soon.

Just identifying the light at the end of the tunnel when we know we will be able to find some down time can be the thing that helps us muster the energy to show up for some valuable extras in our life.
The things we putting effort into during in the busy season may be very valuable and worth the extra time, energy and effort.
For me, this week I have the opportunity to go speak to a group of military spouses. That will require an entire day from me, but it’s something I love to do! Yes please! Totally worth it! The night before is a meaningful big event for one of my daughters, and I have been on the planning committee for it. Wouldn’t miss that for the world. Again… completely worth it! But there is nothing on my weekend schedule after these events except “FIERCELY PROTECT THIS WEEKEND!”
It can also help to tell ourselves things like, “A week from now, that big event will be over and I’ll be so glad I got to do it.”
Reminding ourselves that the stress we are feeling is temporary and will let up can keep it in perspective.

Giving ourselves some grace comes into play with all of this, too.

I don’t believe we were meant to be able to do “all the things” all the time.

Nobody has a perfect, balanced life 100% of the time, because life is just not that way.

It is messy and unpredictable and full of wonderful opportunities.

We miss out on things when we turn self-care and balance into rigid rules we must follow.

We also miss out on enjoying what we do when try to do too much.

So let’s just be intentional about what we choose to do and keep tweaking as we go.

I wrote before that balancing requires constant adjustments – it is a process that is always in motion. We need to learn to normalize that motion and understand what we need to keep bringing ourselves back to something close to the balance we seek.

Jennie Sheffe is a National Certified Counselor ™ who helps women find freedom from anxiety and peace in their chaos. She sees clients virtually in the state of Pennsylvania, or in her office in Carlisle, PA. She offers Christian counseling and EMDR Therapy.

5 Tips to Create Balance in your Schedule