Coping Strategies for Anxiety
Deep Breaths.
Meditation.
Mindfulness.
Journaling.
Mantras.
We hear about these things as coping strategies for anxiety, but people tend to blow them off because they seem too simple to make a difference.
Today I want to give a brief explanation of these coping strategies, to include information about why they work. These are thing I tend to talk to clients about a lot… because they do make a difference!
Coping Strategies for Anxiety
Deep breathing
“Take a deep breath” sometimes garners the same glare that we get when we tell people to “calm down.” Sometimes we need that reminder, though, because we don’t realize we are breathing quickly and shallowly due to an anxious response.
When we think about the kinds of danger humans used to face on the daily, like being chased by wild animals or not having adequate shelter to be safe in inclement weather, we can see how people developed the ability to go into fight or flight mode to be alert to danger and act accordingly.
I’ve said it before: some anxiety is normal and necessary.
Many people are still in situations where they face serious threats regularly and they have to move in and out of this fight or flight mode to be able to regulate their emotions. The rest of us do not always face those serious threats, but the way we interpret social threats (like someone saying something thoughtless and demeaning, FOMO, interviewing for a job, public speaking, getting pulled over for a speeding ticket, being wrong) can send us into that fight or flight mode.
This is why deep breathing is a brain hack.
If we were being chased by a wild animal, would we have time to breathe deeply?
No. We would need shallow breaths to give us quick energy so we could run for our lives. We would need to conserve all extra energy so we could fight off the danger.
Taking time to breathe deeply sends a message to the brain, “Look, we are not actually in danger. See? We are breathing deeply.”
The brain can then signal to the rest of the body, “Stand down, it’s ok.”
There are all kinds of ways to practice deep breathing. It is useful in those stressful moments because it triggers you to pause and interrupt the stress with the consideration that what you are experiencing might not be as stressful as you immediately think it is. It sends oxygen throughout your body. That extra oxygen to your brain can help you calm down and bring that thinking part of your brain online so you can respond instead of react.
It is also useful to create a daily practice of deep breathing. This daily practice can actually lower your baseline anxiety levels over time. It gradually teaches your body that it doesn’t have to respond to everything with fight or flight.
When you engage in deep breathing, you want to breathe all the way from your diaphragm. Some people call it “belly breathing.” As you breathe in, you’ll notice your belly expanding (not your chest), and you can think of your lungs expanding like you are filling balloons.
It can be especially effective to let your exhale be longer than your inhale, because that will lower your heartrate, too.
Some of my favorite types of deep breathing include:
Box breathing: In this method, you trace a box on your leg and count as you trace. Breathe in for 4, hold for 4, breathe out for 4, hold for 4. By drawing that box, you have some structure to how you are breathing, and it also helps you feel in control of how long you are holding your breath. It also gives you that sense of touch, which can be grounding in and of itself.
4-7-8- Breathing: I am not sure of the science of why these counts are effective, but the way this one works is you breathe in for 4, hold for 7, and breathe out for 8. (cite the source and give more info).
Personally, I love to think of words with the inhale and exhale. This can combine deep breathing with meditation, affirmations, and prayer. I think of the word I want to fill myself with as I breathe in (or the word that I am asking God to fill me with). As I breathe out, I blow out the word I want to get rid of.
peace in… stress out
calm in… busy out
joy in… distress out
confidence in… overthinking out
wisdom in… doubt out
Meditation
Often people think that meditation is just thinking of nothing, and they are quick to dismiss it as something they could never do. Meditation can be thinking of something, directing your mind to concentrate on something, which people also dismiss as impossible.
However, the whole point of meditation is learning to bring your mind back to that focus when it wanders away. There is an assumption that it’s going to happen.
If we can learn to bring our mind back to focus on something intentionally, we build the muscle of teaching our mind to focus on something that has a chance of bringing us peace in the midst of an anxious moment.
If you are a Christian, you may be concerned that meditation has too many connections with religions other than Christianity. It is what you are choosing to meditate on that matters. Otherwise, what do we do with Bible verses like Psalm 19:14, “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer”?
I think it is helpful to use an app to meditate because apps offer external help to bring the mind back into focus. The ones I use personally are Abide, and Insight-Timer. While Insight Timer does not limit its content to Christian-based material like Abide, it does offer Christian content. I love that this app also includes body-based meditations (search for “body scan” in the app). My own therapist (yes therapists go to therapy, too!) told me about this function. It is great for teaching your body to relax when you have gotten into a habit of tension.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is focusing on the body, using your five senses. I wrote an entire blog post about how to ground yourself using your senses, which is part of mindfulness.
Mindfulness can be something as simple as noticing your senses while you are doing just about anything.
While you are eating your food, eat slowly, without distraction. How does your food look and smell? What colors do you notice? What temperature is it? What textures do you notice? How does each bite taste? How does it feel in your mouth? What sounds do you make while you are eating it?
Go for a walk – without listening to music or a podcast and notice what you see, hear, feel, smell, and even taste as you walk. Notice how your body feels while it is walking.
When we notice things with our five senses it brings us into this exact moment, where we are safe. It gets us out of the fear and anxiety of the anticipated future. It allows us to escape the sadness of the past. In the present moment we can pause to acknowledge we are ok right now. That helps center us so we can get that rational part of our brain working again, and we can more calmly make a plan to address whatever we need to address.
Journaling
Oh, journaling! I love love LOVE journaling! I have already written quite a bit about it, so I won’t go too much into detail here. Past posts include: journaling for anxiety, for perfectionism, for self-discovery, for insomnia, and using the FACETS model for overthinking and to clarify your internal experience.
When we journal, we get our thoughts out in the open where we can see them, and often this can be surprising! We also nail down those thoughts so we can put a name to what we are feeling. This helps us get different parts of our brains working together to attack our problems. It also helps us try out a few ways we might want to communicate to others about what feels troubling.
Journaling lets our brain know we have done something to solve the problem, which often helps the brain decide it can settle down and stop spinning on it.
Mantras
Journaling can help us decide how we want to feel about a given situation, and from there we can create a mantra. When we write a mantra down and practice it, we are giving our brain a roadmap to direct it how we want it to respond.
I have heard Christians raise concerns about using mantras, like it is something that goes against what God would want us to do. But in Philippians 4:8, Paul tells us, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
Just like with meditation, it depends on what we choose to focus on.
When we choose a mantra that lines up with our values, it can help us train our brain focus in that direction.
You can even use a Bible verse as your mantra.
It’s important to write down your mantra, maybe even in several places. You want to practice it until it pops up naturally in your brain. Then, when you are in a situation where it would apply, it’s ready for you.
Leaning on mantras can help silence the peanut gallery of mental chatter that comes up when we are overthinking. If you are someone who is working on setting boundaries by saying “no” you might have a mantra of “I am someone who checks my calendar before I answer someone.” Practicing that mantra will help you remember to tell someone, in the heat of their urgent request, “I have to check my calendar. I’ll get back to you tomorrow.”
Often, in therapy, we start out with learning coping strategies to give you some immediate glimmers of relief for your anxiety, and start building habits that will help you achieve and maintain peace. This article just barely scratches the surface of the many strategies out there.
Like I wrote last week, sometimes the process of therapy can bring up stuff you haven’t thought about in a while that might feel difficult. Having some extra coping strategies in place is an important starting point so you are equipped to manage any temporary discomfort that surfaces while you are working on those deeper root issues in therapy.
If you are ready to learn more coping strategies and do that deeper work of finding freedom from anxiety, please reach out! You can send me a secure message on my contact form or call me at 717-219-4339.
Jennie Sheffe is a National Certified Counselor ™ who helps women find freedom from anxiety and peace in their chaos. She sees clients virtually in the state of Pennsylvania, or in her downtown Carlisle, PA office. She offers Christian counseling and EMDR Therapy.
